The cold rain growls outside as I sip my yerba mate with honey. This is the time of year when the landscaping season starts to wind down, as the weather is just not conducive to working well outside. For me this year, many things are winding down, changing, metamorphosing from slugs and weevils into butterflies or bats of a better future.
This year I have many ideas of what may or may not happen over the winter. This snowy season I may or may not be more alone then I have ever been, which may or may not be good or bad. I intend to work through the winter before starting my own business in the spring, which may or may not be my full time gig, at least in 2010. My hope is that some sort path will crystallize before me. This happened before a couple time, once when I was an intern for Happy Dancing Turtle, and once when I started working for Local Roots. Before that, working for the Seward Coop helped me solidify my abilities. Before that, I had dreams of becoming a musician, a poet, or a genius in general.
Not only do I desperately have to address my creative abilities and possibilites, I have to delve into, swimming all the way to the dark bottom, issues of the pocket, the career, the cash flow. As an adult male who wants to have a house and family, I need to be able to provide for those potentialities. One doesn't do that by sitting around an apartment in your underwear watching Netflix movies until beer thirty. But without the geyser of creativity being addressed within me; making a pact, coming to terms, outlining a potential future; I won't be able to put those feelings aside and simply make work work.
Post-Eclipse (Ego) - *I* will defeat you. I have defeated you. I have always defeated you. I will always defeat you Because I already have.
6 days ago